KonMari Mommy
How Tidying Up Magic Actually Happened
in a Five Child Family
by Julia M.L. Whitehead
In order to
understand why I felt compelled to write this article, there are some things
you need to know about me. I’ve always aimed to live the adage, “Use it up,
wear it out, make it do, or do without.” Values of preparedness and thrift
permeate from my core. On top of that, I KEEP things in the name of sentiment.
So statements written by Marie Kondo in her book The Life Changing Magic of
Tidying Up, like, “Unnecessary objects in your home are a burden” and, “Don’t
be distracted by thoughts of being wasteful” totally contented with my belief
system.
My husband, on the other hand, is
naturally hoard-conscious. I understand his desire to help keep our brimming
home livable, but there have been times when the messes fuel his dejunking
desires beyond what I consider reasonable. I can’t forget the semi-broken Mouse
Trap game, the toy doll crib, and the action figure that I literally pulled out
of our big green garbage can after discovering he had chucked them without my
knowing! You can keep playing a
semi-broken Mouse Trap game that was bought with your child’s own hard-earned
money, right?
The author promises “a change so
profound that it touches your emotions,” and also that this change “will
irresistibly affect your way of thinking and your lifestyle habits.” I honestly
thought that was a tall order in my case.
As Kondo touted convincing each client
to willingly throw out massive quantities of “garbage”, I felt nervousness,
doubt, and a large dose of
defensiveness. I was leery about jumping
in to such purging. These emotions
boiled inside me as she spoke of “re-setting your life” through tidying. Did I
really want to spend my limited time and energy gutting the entire house? Had
this expert tidier dealt with big families and large living spaces? I am among
the western mothers who wondered how much credence we should give to this
extreme, young, “Tiger Mother for Your Home.”
But when I answered, “yes” to her
question “Have you ever tidied madly only to find that all too soon your
workplace is cluttered again?” I admitted I must have something to learn. Kondo
claims that the storage containers you needed, will often be found amidst current
belongings. Re-organizing without spending money on more containers to store my
stuff? That possibility appealed to a thrifty Momma like me. So I continued listening and,
category-by-category, the magic
ensued.
Feat #1, “Attractive” CLOTHING
Because I
was studying this book with a group of Moms who expected a weekly report, I
stuck my toe into the first category Kondo recommends a person sort; clothing.
Getting rid
of some too slender slacks felt sensible, and safe. I said goodbye to one of my three swimsuits
that the chlorine had made threadbare. With my closet eventually complete, I
moved on to the apron drawer. Since I had received a new frilly apron for
Christmas, I felt like parting with one I had sewn as a newlywed would be
natural. The forest green apron with red angel print lasted about a day in the
donation bag before I just had to run out and rescue it! Kondo claims that “Just because you dispose
of something does not mean you give up past experiences, or your identity.” But
that apron’s memories seemed tied ever so tightly to its strings. I couldn’t let it go. I read on.
Remembering
“unnecessary objects in my home are a burden, and “what you wear affects your
self esteem”, I tackled the rest of the closets in our seven person house. It
was helpful (and almost magical) to visualize the people who may
be receiving some of the clothes that no longer served us, but were still in
good shape. It was also helpful (although initially laughable, especially for
my tweens) to vocally thank certain articles for protecting and adorning our
bodies while in our possession. I was in
tune with Kondo’s personification of different articles, and found it helpful
to wish them well on their journey away from our home once they had fulfilled
their purpose for us. My family, however, could never do it with a straight
face. The fact that they were
participating in the tidying process was enough for me, even if they didn’t
concur with what they thought were eccentric antics.
My family’s
participation in my tidying furor was magic
manifestation number one. Once we were all on a roll, we easily cleared out
those closets, including throwing about a billion cheap department store
hangers into the recycling bin. Right
before my eyes, the first garbage bag was filled. Shazam!
Some
surprising “Law of Attraction” type magic followed. According to Life Coach
Talane Miedaner, “Decluttering is probably the fastest and
easiest way to attract something new in your life. It can be surprising and
even shocking to see how quickly new and better things and opportunities come
into your life.” 1
Here’s how
it happened for me. My sister-in-law, who was also reading Kondo’s book cleaned
out her closet and brought her “tidying trophies” (a.k.a. full 13 gallon bags)
to me as donations for a school fundraiser.
The fine arts department found an organization that pays by the pound
for bags of anything soft. I was glad I didn’t resist the urge to glance
through them, though, since over ten of the things she discarded were perfectly
fitted to my size and taste! Please know that I said goodbye to one additional
piece of clothing for everything I kept. (I know Marie doesn’t generally feel
like this practice is a sufficient tidying method, but I hope she would still
be pleased with my overall wardrobe upgrade!)
As is the
goal of Kondo’s book, I have now developed my awareness of what brings me joy
to the point where I can go through a bag of free second hand clothes with
confidence and ease. Rather than hanging on to too many “loungewear” articles,
I pass them by knowing they will bless somebody else.
Feat #2, CLOTHING continued, “If the Box Fits…”
Marie gives
shoeboxes a five star rating as storage containers. In the past I have used sturdy shoeboxes for Legos or batteries. Marie’s praise
of them caused me to take their usage to a whole new level. Each girl in my
home now stores her tights in a shoebox drawer divider. Because my husband is
not a box saver, unless it’s close to Christmas, I don’t generally have
shoeboxes available. Still somehow they magically materialized to fulfill
organizational needs! While tidying papers in the storage room, we ran across
last year’s Valentine’s box. My daughter
was magically willing to bid a fond farewell to Cookie Monster, and we
repurposed him as her drawer divider.
Will my
girls’ unmentionables be folded and placed in vertical rows every week. Heavens
no! Way too many socks and undies are
constantly a comin’ through my washing machine!
In fact, if it appears there are too many socks in this drawer, don’t
fret. As any mom of school-aged kids can attest, the natural processes of
dancing and dragging will reduce them before we know it. My own t-shirt drawer also became permanently
more pleasant and functional by applying Marie’s folding methods. I
conveniently finished enjoying my box of holiday chocolates just in time to
serve as my “junk drawer” divider.
Do I have too many notepads? Maybe. But the author has given
the perfect comeback for times when someone questions your favorite
collections. “They bring me joy.”
Feat #3, PAPERS : Vertical Files = No More Piles!
I
took the author’s advice to "Try taking a pile you already have and
standing it on edge. You instantly become more aware of what/ how much is in
the pile."
I wasn’t
sure how to get this job done without running to the store for more magazine
dividers. Then I magically remembered
that I had emptied one when I went through my books. Marie actually convinced
me to get rid of at least fifteen old magazines whose content can now be found
online. Although my highlighting and
margin notes can never be physically recovered, Kondo reminded me that the
knowledge came to me when it was meant to, and is now stored somewhere in my
subconscious, and I have to trust that I will recall it in time of needed
inspiration. Besides, this difficult
parting produced exactly what I needed! (Because I underwent the Mind
Organization for Moms course around the same time I read this book, the divider
now serves as my “read and review” basket.) My husband has one that matches. Viola!
Feat #4, TOYS: “Toying With My Mind”
The sleek,
young, single author did not cover managing toys. She does have a section on
Japanese charms, and what she calls “Komono”, or miscellaneous stuff. Even given her lack of experience mothering
multiple children, I have no doubt that she could come over and coach us through
a tactical trinket overhaul. I believe the proverb referenced by Kondo; “A messy room equals a messy mind. “ The
positive effect that de-junking physical items can have on your mind is
undeniable. This must be why, when it came time to tidy my playroom, the freed
space in my brain made me magically able
to come up with an improvement for the constant clutter problem.
The Geotrax set that we love was
overflowing out its Rubbermaid container.
Because the lid didn’t fit on, the pieces were easily accessible and the
toddler’s temptation to DUMP resulted in a perpetual pile of unconnected
pieces. Not wanting to go purchase alternative containers, I waited for a magical stroke of inspiration. Then it
came. If I transferred the Geotrax into two of my holiday décor totes, the
whole set would fit nicely inside his bedroom closet! I immediately did so, and
switched the holiday décor into the awkwardly shaped long tote. I placed it
under the basement stairs where we only need to access it once a year. Of
course, I discarded a few unnecessary/ duplicate things out of all the aforementioned
bins during this “stroke of genius” swapping process!
Our playroom is also my youngest son’s bedroom.
Notice how his closet is arranged with the long, heavy clothing on the left.
(Go me.)
The theory
posed by the author is that if you tidy up “all in one go,” it will prevent
rebound. Because she wasn’t actually
here coaching me (just through my audiobook ear bud), I surely held on to more
than would be ideal according to the KonMari method. Honestly, I could count on my fingers the
number of garbage bags that are gone. Most things were donated. I guarantee
only the absolute trash went to the curbside. Despite my long held tendencies
to stockpile in the name of preparedness, I dove in and discarded enough to
produce some promised visible and emotional effects!
At the
conclusion of Kondo’s book, she talks about her favorite little green T-shirt
with a Japanese anime print, that she feels silly for not giving up. With this
confession, she gave me permission to indulge in keeping selected items, like
my homemade forest green angel apron, that bring me a unique type of joy.
Kondo
eventually convinced me that not just continuous straightening of clutter, but
having a tidying mindset is helpful
in creating and maintaining order in any home. Her respectful treatment of
belongings led to my respectful view of her principles. “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”
increased my awareness of the unnecessary STUFF surrounding me and moved me to
deep cleaning action in a healthy, almost magical
way! In my household we are not striving to be featured in a design magazine.
We are, however, working together more effectively than ever to maintain the
level of order we have worked hard to achieve.
I am left
to hope that all of the re-organizing we’ve been inspired to do as a five-child,
one income family will really keep our house in impeccably tidy order. But alas,
as my mothering friends could attest, that would take not only a tidying expert
- but a bona fide magician.
1.
http://www.lifecoach.com/articles/time/decluttering-activates-law-attraction
