Published on deseretnews.com :)

On Nov. 24th 2015

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865642333/Motherhood-Matters-Turning-cooking-chaos-into-family-fun.html

Turning Cooking Chaos Into Family Fun 

by Julia M.L. Whitehead

At the beginning of my mothering journey, my attitude was that the children needed to stay out of the kitchen so cooking would be easier for me. The spills and splatters from our everyday meals were plentiful enough.

One holiday season, however, a letter from my mother-in-law, who was approaching her empty-nest years, helped my heart become more willing. The letter was sent to inform us about the schedule of activities she had planned for our visit. She anticipated the buzz of her grandchildren’s presence with happiness and envisioned a wonderful occasion. Making fudge and sugar cookies were two of the activities on her holiday schedule, and little helping hands were welcome in her kitchen to mix, roll, frost and enjoy.

Here I was, at home with my little ones, wishing I could just cook a meal alone. And there she was, many years my elder, having realized that cooking alone is simply no fun, and, more importantly, that cooking may not be about the food — or the mess.

My mother-in-law’s longing for eager, albeit messy, helpers floated off the pages of her letter and into my heart like the aroma of gingerbread. I decided to take a lesson from someone who had been through the messy child-rearing years and now looks back with wise, but nostalgic, eyes.

So I cleared the counters. I stationed the sturdy stools. I put the baby to sleep and invited the children into the kitchen. Since that day, I have learned several things that make it easier when pint-size chefs participate:

1. Expect a mess. Both mental and physical preparation is necessary to avoid feeling like the kids are invading or destroying your space. Think of it as a culinary construction zone. Those adorable aprons are for more than just looks when it comes to the children; wear them. I have my cleaning cloth in hand to wipe up little spills as they happen. While waiting for the food to bake, I involve the kids in cleanup jobs like sucking up flour with the vacuum hose or delivering cardboard boxes to the recycling bin. After all, they know the story of "The Little Red Hen." Also, the time constraints of cooking increase the odds for frustration. I save my multiple-child baking projects for open afternoons. A one-at-a-time weeknight chef’s helper is manageable for many moms.
2. Stock multiple tools. I am aware that decluttering experts would disagree, but I have two rolling pins. I’ve even pulled out the mini Play-Doh rolling pin when a tiny toddler wants in on the action. I keep extra peelers around so we can all peel potatoes together, and I separate the measuring spoons so little hands can each hold their own tools while eagerly awaiting their predetermined tasks. I also will give a child his or her own cutting board with a butter knife and hard-boiled eggs or ham to dice while I chop lettuce on my cutting board. The kids crack raw eggs or dump other liquids into a separate bowl before adding them into the main mix to prevent accidental ingredient overdose. And I try to empty the dishwasher before these episodes begin to make room for all the extra dishes.
3. Look for real-life lessons. You are teaching your children more than just culinary skills as you work side by side. You model cleanliness and hygiene as you tie hair back and remind them to repeatedly wash those finger-licked hands. And reading the recipe is the perfect real-world application of literacy. I have even made a copy of the recipe for my school-aged daughter so she could follow right along. Children also feel the value of serving others when it’s time to share their masterpieces with hungry family members or friends.

When my husband returned from work the evening of my attitude transformation, he found counters covered in flour and fingers deep in dough. However, children’s voices sang along with the Christmas music, and he could see that I was OK with the mess this time around. I smiled at him across the chaos, finally realizing why Grandma missed this mess.

Question: What has made cooking with kids a more enjoyable experience for you?

Challenge: Find a kid-friendly recipe, break out the mini-aprons and invite them into the kitchen to cook this week.

This article is courtesy of Power of Moms, an online gathering place for deliberate mothers.

LP 2015

LP 2015.
A packed Mcqueen and captain
Arrive at Bullfrog Bay.
Suits are donned, sunscreen on.
Let's leave this ground, & play!

Parents break the skis in
With proud and practiced ease.
Crazy Cara begs to tube.
Nate grooves it on his knees.

Canyoneering calls us
Past the stagnant houseboat masts.
William scales those boulders,
Desi's every bit as fast.

Marvel fills our muscles
Re-tracing pioneer steps.
We're tickled as the wetland frogs
Remind us "We Got" Wes.

Skipping rocks and dealing cards
Help us to relax.
Glassy warmth and shooting stars
Keep us coming back.

Por fin conozco a Anne of Green Gables

This year I learned:
*Anne of Green Gables was on my mother's top ten favorite book list.
*Anne of Green Gables was a book that my dear friend Alisa loved.
I also read references to this book in a Power of Moms article.
I felt like it was time for me to discover what all of the fuss was about. I have never even seen the movies or anything. It was fun reading this book as the mother of a girl about Anne's age when she arrived at Green Gables.

p.126. "There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."

p.138. "There must be a limit to the mistakes one person can make, and when I get to the end of them, then I'll be through with them. That's a very comforting thought."

p.139. "For Anne to take things calmly would have been to change her nature. All "spirit and fire and dew," as she was, the pleasures and pains of life came to her with trebled intensity...The downfall of some dear hope or plan punged Anne into "deeps of affliction." The fulfillment thereof exalted her to dizzy realms of delight. Marilla had almost begun to despair of ever fashioning this waif of the world into her model little girl of demure manners and prim deportment. Neither would she have believed that she really liked Anne much better as she was. "

p.219, "Oh, it's delightful to have ambitions. I'm so glad I have such a lot. And there never seems to be any end to them- that's the best of it. Just as soon as you attain to one ambition you see another one glittering higher up still. It does make life so interesting."

p.224, "For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world; and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won, but exact their dues of work and self-denial, anxiety and discouragement."

p.238. "The beauty of it all thrilled Anne's heart, and she gratefully opened the gates of her soul to it. 'Dear old world, she murmured, 'you are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you.,"
(I felt this way this past summer both while boating at Lake Powell one morning, and while riding bikes down Provo Canyon on Labor Day.)


After I typed up these quotes that I connected with during my reading, I found that several of them were on "top ten" lists.  I love it when literature can speak to so many about things like emotion, that all humans have in common. That entertaining familiarity is what makes this book a classic.

Things Kids Say

Desi wanted a certain hat for hat day- the kind that keeps you cooler because it doesn't cover the top...so she asked me

"Mom, where's the white geyser?"

Describing a fierce wind storm, she was in shock that even the "shin guards" were flying off the rooftops.


When Nathan was younger, he asked if he could sleep on the "crouton."  (futon)

Love it when they crack me up in the middle of the day out of nowhere.

Mahalo

Dream Vacation Reflection
            by Julia

Mahalo Hawaii !
You enveloped me in calm.
As waves refreshed my being,
I beheld the swaying palms.

En route to crisper climate
I hold as souvenirs,
Aloha spirit in my heart,
Along with sand inside my ears!

Bag It

-->

Bag It

The Toy Story backpack selected by my son during our back to school shopping trip the summer before fifth grade had me tongue tied.

“Should Mom be the one to tell him that most kids his age have graduated from wearing cartoon characters, or should I risk insecure feelings that may come when this “coolness” lesson is learned through the school of life?, I wondered.

The sadness about having to grow up portrayed so well in the Toy Story movies eventually got to me, and I kept my mouth shut.

Maybe I was out of touch with the ten year old world, I thought. Maybe kids are nicer and less concerned with appearance than I assume. Besides, it’s just a bag. As long as it carries your items, that’s all that matters. Or is it?

My non-fashion conscious train of thought came to a screeching halt day I got - what I like to call “coached.”

The Bridal shower gift that did it was pearly white in color with glowing gold accents.  The pockets were amply sized, the zippers obviously very durable. The fabric was thick, and decorated with a repeating letter C pattern that I had noticed before but clearly not understood. Coach.

Squeals rung out the moment the Mom to be lifted it from it’s perfectly wrapped box. Then the comments came.

 “Your Daddy scored some points this time!”

“Now I can’t stand next to you carrying this bag from Target.”

“You sure didn’t get THAT free at the hospital.”

“I’m so jealous!”

            I myself was without words to add. Although I appreciated the quality of the bag and would have loved to carry it myself, I was not as jealous as I was confused. I had gone through four free hospital bags, and loved them all!  Had I been walking around looking sub par all these years and not even known it?

            It took only a few seconds for me to snap out of my adult version of Toy Story backpack trauma that I had worried my son may face.  I was able to smile at myself and others the rest of the shower, sharing in the joy brought from such a perfectly personalized gift.

            Then came time for me to select my next diaper bag. Child #5 was on the way, and I had heard the freebie bags were offered by the hospital no more. Comments from the day I was “coached” swum through my head as I debated about how much money to spend. Tips I’d heard from a beauty seminar about color and design further clouded my ability to choose.  I wanted to look put together and have all my gear organized.  I also wanted to stay within a budget, and not give in to materialistic marketing.  After concluding that I had spent way to much time thinking such a trivial thing over, I decided to take the peer pressure and BAG IT!

            I drove straight to D.I. , rummaged through the rack until I found a bag that would work, paid my $3.00, and was on my way.

            “When I no longer need to carry bulky diapers, smashed cheerios, and leaky bottles, I will spend money on the perfect purse. “ I thought.

            Now my baby is turning toddler, my thrift store bag is shot, and it’s time to shop. Choosing the bag for me should not be that hard, but because I was not born with fashion as my forte, I may just have to consult,  a coach.

Picture taken after problem solved. (out with the old, in with the new)

Personality

It is a treasured night when I am able to get housework done to a point where I allow myself to relax and even joke around a little with my kids. Here is a conversation from one such night.

While playing scrabble with my two oldest...
Cara: "No more talking unless you're challenging."
Will: "I'd say you're pretty challenging."
Mom: "Yeah, Cara, I guess you can talk all you want."
Cara: (to Will) "I am going to lick your nose off while you sleep."

New word learned this scrabble game: vexer.  Caroline will try ANYTHING to see if we'll challenge it.

The girl's got personality.